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See, thatโ€™s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I donโ€™t wanna
richardgoranski
cityelf

I invite my closest friends and family to a gender reveal party, but when I open the box with maniacal flourish instead of pink or blue balloons, a television screen is revealed.

I dim the lights remotely as we hear Cate Blanchett say, “The world is changed. I feel it in the water.”

Too late, they realise.

The pregnancy? A scam.

The Lord of the Rings editions? Extended.

The doors? Locked.

Source: cityelf
jockoppressor
berenshand

some highlights from my students’ romeo and juliet modern interpretation projects:

- someone made a username for friar laurence with 420 at the end
- the same kid who put 69 in romeo’s username like i wouldn’t know what either of those things mean
- the girl who added ‘clean’ at the end of all the songs on her juliet playlist like lmao girl i know spotify doesn’t have the clean version
- the kid who said romeo and juliet killed each other
- the weird dichotomy of kids who put love story on their playlist vs the kids who choose bad blood
- the kid who wrote ‘get a room’ as tybalt’s comment on romeo’s couple pic
- the kid who said ‘romeo is probably one of those douches who follows a ton of people so they follow him back and then he unfollows all of them’
- the one who legitimately used the word ‘alrighty’ do kids say this in their text messages???? i thought i was the one talking like an elderly person but okay
- the one who made romeo’s username ‘montagoose’
- the only kid who acknowledged that posting about your secret relationship on instagram was a bad idea
- the girl who wrote that romeo would unironically say ‘#blessed’. she’s right.
- the one single solitary girl who wrote mercutio as gay as shakespeare did (she’s also the only one who used mercutio at all which is a tragedy but whatever)
- the one who wrote romeo’s insta bio as ‘thus with a kiss i die… LOL RIP ME 😂💀’
- the one who made benvolio’s username benvoliYO

thatsnicebutimmarried

You are an excellent teacher

Source: berenshand
chickenstab
facts-i-just-made-up:
“ cocktormedick:
“ facts-i-just-made-up:
“ Mated turtles share their shells!
Not always but often when a pair of turtles mates, the male will leave his own shell and move in with the female. After doing so the couple will...
facts-i-just-made-up

Mated turtles share their shells!

Not always but often when a pair of turtles mates, the male will leave his own shell and move in with the female. After doing so the couple will coordinate their arm and leg movements to walk and even swim.

cocktormedick

I call this “Trying to get notes with false facts.”

facts-i-just-made-up

I assure you, Facts-I-Just-Made-Up would never post false facts just to get notes. I also do it to confuse, misinform, and hurt people.

Source: mobile.twitter.com